A Dysfunctional Family

Yitzchak, Yaakov, and Rivka are known to the Jews as role models and some of the most spiritual, moral people we can think of. Whether some of their actions were moral is debatable, but the majority of Jews admire their actions and characteristics and strive to be more like them. What I've noticed from learning about their family is that they made a incredible dysfunctional family. I'm not sure this family could even get through a family dinner without causing drama.

Firstly, we know that Yitzchak and Rivka's relationship was a bit rocky. They didn't speak to each other. The only time we see that they actually agree on something is when Eisav marries a Canaani girl. As soon as Rivka sees Yitzchak for the first time, she immediately feels insecure and feels that she is on not on the same level as he is. She wonders how she is good enough to be his wife. After all, she didn't grow up with a spiritual or moral family. Even when she feels 'irregular activity' inside of her womb (during her pregnancy) she does not go to Yitzchak. When she is told that there are two nations inside of her and the older will serve the younger, she does not pass on this knowledge to Yitzchak. She doesn't even tell him this when he is about to bless Eisav, when she knows that Yaakov deserves the blessing. And how does Rivka know that Yitzchak is planning on giving the blessing to Eisav? She overhears it. In other words, she was not supposed to hear it, but somehow she did. So, then what does she do? She uses Yaakov to trick her old, blind husband. Rivka is the mastermind behind the trickery that occurs in Perek 27. Because Rivka couldn't work up the nerve to talk to her husband, Yaakov and Rivka have to go behind Yitzchak's back and even lie to him in what is known as one of the most [ethically] controversial events in Bereishis.

Another parenting flaw is written out in the Pesukim. Rivka loved Yaakov and Yitzchak loved Eisav. Picking favorites? It just doesn't seem necessary. Some even think that Yitzchak loved Eisav because he brought him food from what he hunted. These two clearly need to attend some parenting seminars. And visit a marriage counselor.

Then, as if there aren't enough problems going on with Rivka and Yitzchak, the twins also have some problems of their own. Eisav and Yaakov also take part in a very controversial event, the Lentil coup incident or the Selling of the Bechora. In this event, Yaakov arguably takes advantage of Eisav. Later when Eisav finds out that Yaakov "stole" his blessing from Yitzchak, he swears that he will kill Yaakov once his father dies (common twin/brother problems, right?). Then Eisav marries a Canaani girl. This action is bad enough to make Rivka and Yitzchak agree for once! They are both upset and make sure that Yaakov does not end up marrying a Canaani girl. Eisav hears this, even though he is clearly not meant to be part of this conversation, and marries a girl from Yishmael's family to try to make things right.

These are only a few examples of how dysfunctional this family is. This family has many problems: eavesdropping, trickery, lies, a lack of communication skills, jealousy, favoring (children), and the minor problem of a twin swearing to kill his other twin. It seems like with so many moral, righteous people living in one house they should be a model family, but for some reason, that is not the case. At all.